Love Advice from Tim: Long Distance Relationships
By CNtributor Tim O’Halloran
The old saying goes, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”, well being in a long distance relationship myself I figured I could deem myself an expert and give all you CN’s some tips on making your long distance relationship run a bit smoother.
Tip #1 You have got to trust each other. That seems simple enough, right? Basically, look at what Tiger Woods and Jesse James did and do the opposite of that.
Tips #2-4 Sext. This is pretty self explanatory.
Tip #5 Guys: Grow a beard. You have always wanted one, and now’s your chance to really go for it without having your significant other whine things like “It hurts my face”, or, “Can you please stop picking bacon out of that, we’re in church”. This doesn’t really help the relationship but it is something to do in between trips to see each other. Heck, you know what, girls you grow some beards too! LET’S BEARD AMERICA!
Tip #6 Share a Netflix account. It’s fun to watch the same movie and then discuss it afterwards. Plus it acts as a great barometer for your partners mood. Say your boyfriend has watched Warrior over and over again, odds are he’s pretty emotional (if you haven’t seen it, it has the same emotional power as Field of Dreams but with MMA). Or say your girlfriend has been watching a bunch of the graphic Iraq War docs…well I don’t know what that means exactly but be afraid.
Tip #7 Skype (but only with great internet connection). That stipulation is important. If the connection is poor, then what would have been a nice conversation turns into, “Well you sound like a robot and you’re frozen so that is clearly the universe agreeing with me that you are wrong.”
Tips #8-9 Sext some more. Are you getting how important this is?
Tip #10 Always text ‘I love you’ before you fall asleep. Alright, say it with me, awwwwww!
Well, that’s all I got, oh avoid the film Like Crazy. That movie is so emotional destroying I swear it was made by a terrorist group in order to break us down as a society.
If you need any more tips, or want any more nonsensical advice feel free to ask!
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