Thoughts whilst working at a Starbucks.
Oh God, why am I even here, I don’t fit in. FreeWifiFreeWifi, that’s the key. Did I just see someone walk in wearing a fedora? I’m dead.
All right, let me get a little something to sip on. What’s the person in front of me ordering? A tall half-skinny half-1% split quad shot with two shots regular two shots decaf latte with some whipped? WHAT IS THAT, is that even coffee anymore or was that an appetizer. This lady just dropped $18 for her drink. No thanks. “Uh hi, yes can I please just get a Chocolate Chip Cookie, Grande? Ok nevermind, yeah whatever size.” People are judging. I think someone just called me a “noob”.
All settled now, time to get to work. Of course their WiFi is called Renaissance.
Can’t think. I wonder what these people around me are doing. This guy is typing away fast, man I should be doing the same. Probably working on a indie dramedy screenplay about this widow who’s husband died in a freak hang-gliding accident and how she forges an unlikely friendship with this seventeen year old stoner who delivers the newspaper. That’s a brilliant idea.
Sweet, this guy is reading Harry Potter, I’m down with that. Which one, I ask him eagerly, I loved Goblet Of Fire! He seems annoyed, points to the cover. Harry Potter and the Marxist Subtext by Jonathon Safron Foer, I read. Oh. Cool. I’ll wait for the movie, I joke. His face is stone. He makes a gesture with his hands, I think he just called security on me.
Shit, my phone rings loudly - I would have Maroon 5 as my fucking ringtone. I smile and apologize to those around me. Silence. And then WTF, someone’s coffee has just come speeding towards me, missing by a hair. This isn’t good. Time to wrap up here. Who are these men who just emerged from the back, no no, I need to get out of here. One of them is holding a Bow and Arrow, where am I?
As I’m walking out, Fedora, from before, accosts me. Futue Te Ipsum, he says slowly. Goddamn I just got cursed out in Latin.
I miss Borders.
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